Thank you. Such an important phrase, and so fundamental to the way we interact with others in society. It elicits satisfaction and pleasure from both the giver and the recipient. We are taught to say “Thank you” almost at the same time as we learn to say “Mum” or “Dad”. It might even be shortened to “Ta” but the meaning is the same. Thank you.
My customers frequently say thank you to me. The messages come by e-mail, phone message, hand written cards and verbally. These votes of thanks are very gratefully received because a thank you inspires me to go on and create wonderful images for my next client in the firm knowledge that what I have done before made my previous client happy.
Now and then some clients go the extra mile to say thank you…
I photographed Louise and Neil’s Wedding at De Vere’s Ponsbourne Park Hotel, Nr Hertford in October. I had previously photographed Louise’s sister’s wedding at The Plaisterers’ Hall at One London Wall in 2005 so this was a family I knew and loved. Louise told me that she didn’t have strong opinions one way or the other about most of the wedding arrangements, but when it came to photography she stood her ground and said that she wanted me and none other. How flattering! And given the divine but unseasonal weather the day of Louise’s wedding I was able to create images that really delighted and excited me too. But Louise went the extra mile to say thank you. She came to see me, and presented me with the most beautiful bouquet of flowers.
So, as this New Year begins, I would like to take this opportunity to say the following; To all of my many past clients a heartfelt “Thank you for the business”. And to my new and returning clients who have booked me to record their functions this year and next, a big “Thank you for trusting me to create lasting memories for you.”

In my planning meetings I always ask if parents are together or not. If not, I enquire about new partners, how my bride and groom feel about their step parents, and whether or not the divorced parents are amicable.

When photographing family groups I aim to get a photo that will keep everyone happy. Bride and groom want photos with their birth parents. Divorced parents want photos with their new partners. I swing birth parents and their new partners in and out of my groups as I build them up so that no one feels left out. This is a skill that I have developed over many years of working as a photographer, and family groups are summoned from memory and without any lists in front of me on the big day.

Luckily for me this Sunday, Mitchell’s parents and their new (well….not so new) partners were extremely amicable. In fact Mitchell’s Dad made some very tasteful and amusing references in his speech to how both his ex-wife and his new wife were both smiling and happy to be together today, and how happy he was to be sharing the day with his ex-wife’s new husband.

This contrasts starkly with some weddings where ex’s won’t even be in the same room as each other, let alone sit on the same table or be in the same photograph. This is the rich fabric of life which I am privileged to capture as I photograph my way through my clients functions. It is also something that I will be mindful of when one day my two beautiful daughters get married! Did you hear that Fred?

Dentist Dad with gaps (before)

The art of post processing is to make the images look great and natural, after all a wedding is a wedding not a Vogue photoshoot. Some photographers fiddle and photoshop their images to death. The images become so arty that they become far removed from the reality of the couple. The other issue is the clients who think photoshop is the magic and cure all for everything. I had one bride say to me last year “I didn’t go on a diet before my wedding because I knew you could slim me down”.

Dentist Dad without gaps (after)

The reality of post processing for me is that I’m quite fussy about the way my images look. The final images always look real, if not a bit colourful which is my personal preference, but they aren’t processed to death. I tidy up blemishes and hide shine and sweaty bits, but I don’t turn my brides into Angelina Jolies or my grooms into Brad Pitts! One day when I shoot for Vogue (P.G) my style might change, but until then….

By contrast, photographing a friend’s wedding is one of the accepted ways a new photographer gets into the industry. It always amazes me that a young couple will save a few pounds by trusting their once in a lifetime memories to a friend who is just starting out.

I also have couples say to me that they have a friend who is a very keen amateur photographer and do I have any objections if they take a few photos. As long as he or she isn’t a professional and they don’t get in my way, I have no problem. I always add that if their friend takes a wonderful photo that they want to use in their album that I don’t have a problem with that either. The big day comes and one of three things happens. The friend sidles up to me and wants to talk about cameras and equipment. Yawn! The friend smiles sweetly all day and summons enough courage at the end to ask if they can be my next assistant. The friend takes pictures all day like a pro, gets in my way and yet when I enquire of the couple afterwards how the friend’s photos came out and was there anything usable, I get vague whimpers and eventually the answer is no.

In July I was invited to a family reunion which was tied in with a silver wedding anniversary celebration. I was very good all day until the appointed photographer took the reunited group shot. Fifteen people were organised into a long “conga line” and shot with a wide angle lens. My heart sank and I spent the next hour twitching until I finally asked the host and the photographer if they would mind if we took the shot again. It turns out that it was the photographer’s first professional job, and he was really grateful to learn. The group was reorganised around a bench to get a really compact composition. The camera was set up on a tripod and the photographer took the shot. Yes that’s me at the back feeling uncomfortable the wrong side of the lens. And as I was leaving I caught a quick shot of the tall lady at the back who was missing when we took this shot and I “photoshopped” her in later. The digital file was sent to the photographer so that he could include it in his coverage.

So in summary all I can say is that I love what I do, whether I know the celebrants or not. And next time I am invited to a celebration as a guest rather than a photographer could you please send some handcuffs to keep me tied to my chair!

One photographer I know takes all the bookings he can for the same date without letting his clients know that he is already booked. On the day of the wedding he tells the clients that his mother-in-law has died and that he will be sending a substitute. At this late stage the couple have no alternative but to accept the situation. Although he sends along very reputable substitutes nothing can mask the disappointment of the families concerned that they are not getting who they booked.

I have always strived to be extremely ethical but often this has resulted in tears, some being my own. Let me illustrate this with 2 examples:

Many years ago two couples came to see me about the same date. I didn’t tell them about each other and used the principle of first come first served. Trouble is they both came back to me at exactly the same time. I felt like a property waiting to see who could get the surveyor in first. Both brides were in tears, and I had their mothers on the phone trying to sort the mess out. After that I decided to try something different.

I decided that I would always tell prospective clients about the status of other clients so that they should know exactly what was what. And if I was booked and I had a second or third enquiry for the same date I would try to sell the services of one of my other photographers rather than using the dead mother-in-law trick. If the prospective only wanted me, then I wasn’t wasting their time or my own time by courting them with examples of my work. Everyone knew what was what.

This week I had two couples make appointments to see me about the same date. The first one came on Saturday. They went away to think about it and left a message on my answer phone on Monday morning to say “We love your photography and want to book you but just need to discuss a few things first”. The groom was from a family whom I had worked with before. I photographed his brother’s wedding in 2002. It felt lovely to be back with a family for a second wedding. I tried to call the first bride back twice that afternoon but only got her answer phone. Just before the second couple were due to come and see me on the Monday evening I phoned the groom in desperation to clarify whether I was booked or not. He said that he was in a meeting and could he phone me back? If he had been in a meeting why had he answered his mobile phone? I said very quickly “Could you kindly confirm that you wish to book me because I have another couple coming to see me now for the same date”. He confirmed, and when I saw the second couple I told them that I had just been booked and showed them the work of my colleague. After much phone tag during the week the first groom phoned today to cancel their booking. In essence the groom didn’t like being interrupted in his meeting when he’d asked if he could phone me back.

So what is the moral of this story? I guess like in the world of the estate agent, a man’s word is not his bond. Unless a deposit is received and a contract is signed, a booking is not a booking.

Last Sunday I photographed Lara & Daniel’s wedding at The Jumeirah Carlton Towers. I always tell prospective couples that money spent on “production” not only transforms a room but forms the backdrop for many of my photographs. The ballroom looked very elegant with the addition of lilac mood lighting and crystal chairs. Everyone always thinks of the flowers, but production can incorporate everything right down to tablecloths and crockery. I have been working with Great Expectations for many years, and with the right budget have seen them transform the blandest of ballrooms into something exquisite.

My heart sinks when I ask a prospective couple the “Who is the toastmaster” question and it is answered with “we don’t want a guy in a red coat so a friend is doing it”. Luckily for me, Lara and Daniel employed the services of another Daniel called Daniel Stollar as the “toastie”, and although he did indeed wear a red coat, the toastmaster doesn’t have to if you would prefer a black jacket or a DJ. David Collins one of London leading toastmasters even told me that at one barmitzvah he had to dress as an accessory from James Bond!
The toastmaster is the one who makes sure that the timings keep on track, and if not, reorganises things to ensure that the event runs smoothly. A good “toastie” will work with me if an extra few minutes are required for family photos (although I rarely run late), and he will also ensure that the photographer and videographer are in place before introducing a speech or other event. Other toast masters I frequently work with are Howard Robins, Steve Warwick and Simon Green.

 Most of the weddings I cover are Jewish weddings. Inevitably the coverage is twelve hours from the bride getting ready until the end of the party. Logistically that means that I eat breakfast and generally don’t get to drink or eat again until the guests are having dinner. So imagine….it is 8.00pm, I am starving and my energy levels are dropping. The guests are tucking in to a banquet which looks and smells divine, and the caterer considers that the vendors are just a nuisance and will be fed when there is time. Remember that the client has paid for the vendors to eat, and contractually they are obliged to offer me a hot meal when attendance is in excess of six hours. They eventually serve us diner but we can’t eat it because we have to go and cover the next set of dancing.
Carol Sobell was the caterer at Lara & Daniel’s wedding. She really spoilt the vendors with food which was exactly the same as that served to the guests. Sometimes we get a “carbohydrate” buffet of lasagne & chips from other caterers. Carol doubly spoilt us because she served us all three courses.

Naturally I can only create good party photos if people are having a blast. Wayne Hart produced the musical entertainment for Lara & Daniel, and his band kept the crowd moving and grooving all night.

In my work I witness many weddings; those who are very definitely in love, those whose love will grow and develop over the years even if it is not fully formed on their wedding day, those who have married for money or passport reasons, and those whos love stands no chance of lasting or possibly wasn’t even there in the first place. The loveless weddings give me a great deal of pain. How do you create beautiful, romantic photographs when the body language of the bride and groom are definitely giving you other signals? How do you convey love and harmony when the parents of the couple are divorced, not amicable and won’t pose for photographs in the same room as each other? And worse, how do you reconcile two families coming together in marriage through their children where one is asking me to do X and the other is asking me to do Y because they hate each other so much.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I am tempted to send potential clients straight to Daniel Russell. They might save a lot of time and money by getting divorced before they get married! Or maybe there should be more laws for kids to divorce their parents. But on a more serious note, what I do as a photographer is done with a great deal of love and empathy. My art is full of intangibles, and after all these years and having seen it all, I have reached the stage where I am comfortable enough in my profession as a professional photographer to say that I don’t want to cover a wedding. So please think before getting engaged and married; is this really ‘til death do us part, or is this a process where you’re caught in a tidal wave of excitement and preparations for a wedding after which we’ll see how it goes?

Hayley Lehmann has been photographing at many London wedding venues for the past 15 years. She knows most venues backwards. She knows all the best nooks and crannies for taking wedding photographs, both inside and out. Hayley knows where to go and how to light the space should the weather be inclement or if the event is held at a West End Hotel without an outdoor space. She knows about Parks Licences and advises that if you are thinking of booking a venue, don’t only think about the rooms where you may have your ceremony, reception, dinner and dancing, but take the time to think really carefully about where you can take photos too. Ask the banqueting manager where photographs are normally taken. But remember, family photos in a corporate conference room with “naf” contract art on the wall won’t cut it. The most wonderful nook or cranny won’t work if on the big day the caterer has set up a bar in that area. The gardens might provide a divine backdrop but not if the sun is in front of you making you squint in all the photographs. Flowers placed strategically to brighten up a backdrop might grow out of your guests shoulders in photos.

Choosing the right wedding photographer is not all about getting the right financial package. Sure, the cost is an important part when planning wedding budgets, but many couples have paid the price big time by getting it wrong. Choose your wedding photographer very carefully. You are trusting them with a life time of memories.