Hayley Lehmann Photography Blog

Divorce

Thursday September 1st 2011

It must seem strange to be reading about divorce on a photographer’s website that is dedicated to weddings and all things joyous. However I had a meeting this afternoon with a very talented divorce solicitor called Daniel Russell from a firm called Carlsons Solicitors in Whetstone.  Rest assured that this was nothing to do with my own personal circumstances, but a chance to get to know each other better as we are both members of the same Chapter of BNI. One of the questions I asked him was whether he gets repeat business and he indicated that he did, but he also made mention of the fact that someone who has been divorced once is much more likely to get divorced a second time.

In my work I witness many weddings; those who are very definitely in love, those whose love will grow and develop over the years even if it is not fully formed on their wedding day, those who have married for money or passport reasons, and those whos love stands no chance of lasting or possibly wasn’t even there in the first place. The loveless weddings give me a great deal of pain. How do you create beautiful, romantic photographs when the body language of the bride and groom are definitely giving you other signals? How do you convey love and harmony when the parents of the couple are divorced, not amicable and won’t pose for photographs in the same room as each other? And worse, how do you reconcile two families coming together in marriage through their children where one is asking me to do X and the other is asking me to do Y because they hate each other so much.

100830 3189 DivorceSometimes, just sometimes, I am tempted to send potential clients straight to Daniel Russell. They might save a lot of time and money by getting divorced before they get married! Or maybe there should be more laws for kids to divorce their parents. But on a more serious note, what I do as a photographer is done with a great deal of love and empathy. My art is full of intangibles, and after all these years and having seen it all, I have reached the stage where I am comfortable enough in my profession as a professional photographer to say that I don’t want to cover a wedding. So please think before getting engaged and married; is this really ‘til death do us part, or is this a process where you’re caught in a tidal wave of excitement and preparations for a wedding after which we’ll see how it goes?

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